Achieving Freedom
by Mikauzoran
Summary: Haibara has come far, but she still has a ways to go on the path of healing. Conan offers relationship and life advice as well as some interesting trivia on mermaids that he learned by watching a television special.


Mikau: Hi all! Thanks for stopping in to read this. It was written for Poirot Café's Super Short Contest 16: Mermaid. Originally I was writing a Hakuba and Akako piece for that, but it got too long quite quickly. Sorry I'm not writing much lately. I got a promotion, and my new job is making me cry. I'm having to be very selective about how I spend my precious free time.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd probably turn it into a supernatural detective BL series, so either rejoice or despair that I'm not in charge.

…

Achieving "Freedom"

" _There_ you are," Conan called as he cautiously descended the slick, craggy path to the water's edge.

Haibara made no indication that she'd heard. She sat staring at the fading light of the sun as it dipped below the waves. All the while the ocean lapped at her dangling feet like a kitten playfully batting a strand of yarn.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to." Conan raised his voice as he slowly advanced, taking extra care with his footing. "The kids are getting ready to crack open the watermelon, so…" He trailed off, noticing the faint tear traces on Haibara's cheeks glimmering in the twilight.

By the time he understood, it was too late to retreat and give her privacy. His foot had dislodged a shower of pebbles that clattered down in tandem with his words, startling her out of her reverie.

She looked up, her expression caught in a mix of alarm and shame.

"S-Sorry. I…" He took a step back, wondering if he should try to comfort her or pretend he hadn't seen.

"It's fine." She returned her gaze to the sea, hurriedly slamming the glass cover back down over her emotions. "Come sit."

He did so hesitantly, wringing his brain for a way to dissipate the awkward atmosphere.

Luckily, _she_ resolved the issue by chuckling lightly, "It always amuses me that you still call them 'the kids' even though they'll be going into university next year."

"They'll always be a bunch of precocious whippersnappers to me," Conan returned jocosely, surreptitiously studying her out of the corner of his eye.

She didn't seem to be in emotional turmoil, but…Haibara didn't cry often or easily.

"…You okay? What's up?" he inquired gently after a minute's consideration.

She waved his concern away, insisting, "I'm fine. Really." To prove her point, she forced herself to meet his gaze with a self-deprecating smile. "The sea at sunset just makes me…ache. Nostalgia, melancholy…it dredges up all kinds of things."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered, not expecting her to take him up on it.

She was silent a full two minutes but then tentatively began, "…Before…when I was younger," she clarified, "I'd look out at the ocean and imagine transforming into a seagull, flying away from all the ugliness in my life. Sometimes I'd envision becoming a mermaid and slipping into the water, swimming away from it all. If I flew or swam, no one could catch me and drag me back to hell…that lab…those people. The ocean used to be such a tangible symbol of freedom for me, an image I'd conjure up that gave me strength on the hardest days. Looking at it now…it recalls all of those unhappy times, but it also fills me with such relief and joy and gratitude because I don't have to hold on to it for life and sanity anymore. I don't need to swim or fly. I don't want to be a gull or a mermaid or an eagle or a unicorn or anything other than myself because I'm already free…. That feeling just overwhelmed me for a minute there."

Conan nodded, giving her shoulder a reassuring pat. "Yeah. You've come a long way, not just escaping from _them_ physically, Haibara, but dealing with your inner demons too. I'm really proud of you."

She gave a snort and tossed her head, but he saw her secretly pleased half-smile.

Ascertaining that the rough patch had passed and she was back to her usual self, Conan risked a joke, "Besides, I wouldn't like you half as much as a mermaid."

She quirked an eyebrow.

"On TV they scientifically rendered what mermaids would have to look like in order to survive if they were real, and they were _ugly_. They'd have thick, rough skin and blubber in order to protect themselves and keep warm. They looked more like walrus hybrids than the humanoids depicted in movies," he informed, taking delight in the deepening crease of displeasure developing in her brow.

"You ruin everything, Kudo," she grumbled. "I am so glad I got over you years ago."

Conan shrugged. He'd take her scowling over her tears any day. "If you want sentimental nonsense, you know who to call. I'm betting your boyfriend would be ecstatic to give you a romantic, seagull's-eye-view hang-gliding tour off into the sunset, and I bet he's got a mermaid outfit or two in his collection, though, I hear he's not too big on swimming in the ocean."

Haibara rolled her eyes, hoping the rosy glow of the sun hid the scarlet tinge of her cheeks. "He's not my boyfriend," she protested.

Conan paused to consider the pros and cons of pressing her before he replied, "Well maybe he _should_ be. He asked you, didn't he?"

"…Yes, but…" She nibbled pensively on her lip.

"What's the problem?" Conan countered. "You like him. I can't fathom why, but you _do_ like him, and even _I_ can tell that he's good for you."

"…My last boyfriend is the problem," she muttered, shivering despite the warm summer evening.

"Gin can't hurt you anymore, Haibara," Conan returned gently yet firmly.

They sat in silence for a while, and he let her think about it some minutes before he urged, "Tell him yes, Haibara. Even though you're scared and still battered from your last relationship, the only way you'll start to heal is by opening up and letting yourself love someone again."

"Is it so easy?" Haibara hummed skeptically.

"No," Conan scoffed. "It's one of the hardest things imaginable, but it's worth it. And if _I_ can start over and be happy again, so can you."

She gazed out at the waves once more, eyes unfocused so that he wondered if she were considering his words or spacing out.

Then, without much ado, she sighed, "Well, if you have such faith in me," got out her phone, and dispatched a quick text reading simply "Yes".

Conan frowned. "That's it? Isn't that a little anticlimactic?"

She stood, smirked, and shrugged, slipping on her sandals and starting the ascent back to the beach.

"That's real life," she informed. "You can work it into your best man speech at my wedding. Now hurry up before Kojima-kun devours the watermelon."

Shaking his head, Conan followed. He didn't bother telling her he'd have to defeat Hakuba Saguru in single combat for the honor of being best man, nor did he mention that he'd probably lose what with Hakuba's judo skills and his own shrimpy-ness. Conan knew that Haibara would only laugh at him.

The

End


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